The life in which we live has obvious defining moments.
Those moments that we are set up for early on in life like graduating
high school, getting a college degree, getting married and having children,
etc. From a very young age we are told that we have to be something; so
begins our search for something BIG to define us. We put so much pressure
on the idea of having a legacy. Maybe we want to define ourselves with
something lasting; with something that makes a big impression on those that surround
us. Too often, however, we pay little attention to those moments that
occur while reaching those defining moments. Those little moments, the
experiences that we gain and lessons that we learn are those that define us.
It's not the piece of paper you have framed on your wall that tells the
world you have earned an education, or the ring on your left finger that shouts
"I am a wife or I am a husband." Those, my friends, are titles. The moments
that define us go unnoticed by others. They are the depths in which we
learn from each challenge and experience that life presents us with. The
moments that define us are humbling and eye opening.
I am consistently presented with moments in my life that define me. The moment that I earned the title of being a mother did not define me. It was the moment that I looked into my newborn daughters eyes for the very first time that defined me. It was because I learned the meaning of unconditional love; a love so strong that it brings tears to my eyes. And then each moment since that has allowed me to grow with my daughter. Each challenging, heart wrenching and "gosh I am just so lucky" moment.
Becoming a wife did not define me. What defined me was what I learned about myself and my husband while planning our wedding day. What defines me is who I am as a wife and my marriage alone. Every nitpicking and/or heated argument that occurs because it's what I take from that to be better. After all, I did vow to be a better me each and every day and to love my husband more tomorrow than I did today.
Dropping out of college my first go around did not define me, it was actually a huge turning point in my life and allowed me to find myself and decide who I needed to be. Because I was really unsure of who that person was for the first 22 years of my life.
Or the spilled milk on the floor. This used to be a why does everything go wrong in my life moment. A moment that would bring me so much anxiety and frustration because I usually had somewhere to be right when I needed to clean up the mess. When I learned that it was just spilled milk, I discovered patience and that there are much bigger things in life. Upon this discovery was also a defining moment. Things happen, life happens and that's OK. We are going to spill the milk and we are going to fail. But we're also going to learn.
For me, it is the biggest challenges that I have been presented with that have the most prevailing impact on who I am. I was not blessed with the most perfect life; in fact, my childhood was full of disappointment and lack of parental support. My adolescence was turbulent and my young adult hood life consisted with a lot of mistakes. When I learned that I was going to be a mother my entire life changed. And then it got even better when I found someone who was willing to love me despite all of my flaws. I began to discover who I wanted to be and I started to build my life based on a foundation that contained all of life's lessons and experiences; good and bad. In building my life with a tiny human being who I am privileged to call my daughter along with the man that I call my husband, I have faced many difficulties along the way. Difficulties that have both challenged me and made me question my purpose as well as the existence of God yet have also led me to my greatest achievements.
Today, I am still making mistakes. But I have come to realize that I am supposed to make mistakes because I am supposed to continue to grow, and to continue to discover who I am through those defining moments. I am not blessed with the most perfect life. Life continues to challenge me. And each time I am faced with difficulty, every part of me shatters to the ground. I lay there broken, wondering how the hell I will pick myself up again. But then, by the grace of God, coincidence - whatever it may be, my life shifts again and I am blessed with a moment of grace that defies all negativity. A moment that contributes in telling my story; one that defines my character and who I am.
Throughout this blog you will find that I will reflect on some of these difficulties. And I hope that you will see that you are not alone in your own life struggles.
