My husband and I had the privilege of speaking on the parents panel at the Western New York Perinatal Bereavement Network's Resolve Through Sharing Training on Friday to share our story of loss in front of doctors, nurses and other medical personnel. This was very near and dear to our heart's not only because it aids in our grief journey, but also because it was important to us to share with doctors, nurses and other caregivers the importance of bereavement care through our own experiences. When I started sharing my experiences with loss I had no idea where it would lead. Of course, I knew I was taking a risk in putting myself out there and potentially making others feel uncomfortable. I know pregnancy and child loss are very sensitive topics, but I also know that there are people out there who are desperate to find their own voice; that need to be validated and reassured that their own loss is not insignificant. I also know that what I experienced with medical personnel in accordance with both of my loss's was not anything I would ever want anyone else to have to endure. So began my journey of making a difference. In addition to starting my blog last year, I also submitted my story to the WNY Perinatal Bereavement Network with hopes that it would be shared in their newsletter and help others who were also experiencing grief in child loss. I was linked to this organization after my loss with Brody and have received an incredible amount of support from the women who run the network. Shortly after submitting my story I was asked to be apart of the parent panel for the RTS Training and my journey was confirmed. This is what I was called to do. So many signs have been placed in front of me since the loss of my son's, and coincidentally, the same day we spoke was the same day that I found out I was pregnant with Brody last year.
Our story has reached so many people, but even if it were to have just found one person, my mission would have been fulfilled. We are stronger because of sharing and we are making a difference in the lives of so many. I know you all have heard my story but it has gained such a bigger purpose and for that I am forever grateful. I have attached a small piece of my speech to share with you all.
I stand before you
today on the one year anniversary that my husband and I found out we were
pregnant with Brody. I believe that I was meant to be here today; to tell my
story with the hope of making a difference. We talk about our grief because it
is a part of us. Grief is timeless; as timeless as the love that we have for
our children. We have learned to live again and life surrounds the hole in our
hearts that will never really go away, but if you ask us, we don't want it to.
The hole reminds us that he is there as we yearn to feel his presence. For me,
the hole that has inevitably been dug into my soul contains an
anguish of two losses. Yet, woven into my every being is the strength I have
gained in building life around loss. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't have a
story to tell or a difference to make. We choose to look at it this way because
we have to. Grief knows no boundaries; it knows no pain and no time. We tell
our story not because we are seeking sympathy. We tell our story because it
gives us strength. We share our grief because we know that there is someone
else in the world that needs our strength; that needs someone else to give them
a voice to tell the world that their baby, no matter how small, matters. Much
of society places more value on loss if that person breathed breath and lived
life on earth for a designated amount of time. My sons did not have the
privilege of taking their first breath after birth, but they lived. Their
hearts beat fiercely and they bounced playfully in their safe havens for the
short time they existed. How much time must pass before a life is worth
grieving; before we recognize life as a life at all?
Thank you all for your continued love and support throughout this new journey I have taken in sharing my life. I am so grateful and beyond blessed.
