My ideas about where I initially wanted to go with my blog changed quite a bit before I officially went "live." After experiencing the biggest loss of my life I knew the only way that I would heal and find peace would be through helping others. So that was it; I would create a blog about my experiences with grief. After all, I am all too familiar with this kind of pain as I have had to say goodbye to two of my children; two sons that I would never get to know (I will save this for another day).
But life in general can be really hard too. Add grief and loss to the mix, and you're looking at a recipe for disaster, or insanity, but what's the difference. So everything else, parenting, wife-ing, working, student-ing, playing (because in the midst of the chaos I need to have fun too) running (because this is where I find time for just me) and just living day to day, this is my release. This is where I become reconnected with myself and the rest of the world. Because to be completely honest, sometimes I feel like I am going to explode. Whether it's because I am happy, angry or just downright sad. Those dark moments don't last long, but when they are approaching, I just need to release. And when I'm happy, or content or when I have reached a revelation, why not share it with the rest of the world so you, too, can reach your own revelations.
I want my readers to know who I am outside of my loss. That I am human and live life like the rest of you. I am your everyday, ordinary mother, wife, homemaker, professional and everything in between. Though my loss does not define me, it certainly has contributed to a large of who I am today and who I will continue to grow to be as I navigate my way through life and self-healing. So here I am, sharing my entire life with you; every raw emotion and experience that I have endured can be found right here. I'm an open book and a very real human being. It is my hope that I can start a pathway for others; whether I can help you find your own inner voice or help you quietly find your way through the twisted pathways of life. There are very few people in my life that I have to lean on through times of hardship. I know firsthand what it's like to feel alone and isolated from the rest of the world. I am only just now learning that my story is not exactly unique. We are all human, and we all face challenge and triumph. Some just handle it better than others, don't handle it all, do so quietly or just spill their guts to the rest of the world just like I do. But I won't ever apologize for that. I am determined to do big things with my life. And if I have helped just one other person, then I have at least accomplished what I have set out to do and that is enough for me.
So, instead of filling my blog with emotional tributes to my two boys, because while that can be emotionally fulfilling and cathartic, I decided to also share the rest of me with you to find healing in other aspects of life and so that you can also find healing in your own lives.
Stay tuned world, it gets better.
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